I want to work for Obama!!!

Yeah I said it!! I want to work for Obama. I want to pack up all my stuff, load it into the back of my SUV, and drive to DC to help Obama change America!! Indeed I do. If only I could get through the 12 page application they have. I am on page 3 and at this rate I should finish in about 2011.

But honestly, I think the Obama election has stirred the humanist in me. I must admit that I have been sliding a little to the left more and more each year. Supposedly you get more conservative as you age. I seem to be going the opposite direction. I am leaning more towards a policy of live and let live. I even voted against Prop. 8. I think I should hang up the notion that I am a conservative/Republican and call myself something like a Libertarian or just a good old fashioned Independent.

I think this change can be traced to my distance from the church. I grew up as a devout pentecostal and most if not all my stances on social issues were predicated on the stance of the Bible or that which the leaders of the church put forward. Well at the same time I left my wife I left the church and my views have migrated left ever since. I guess is should say my views on personal issues more so than fiscal issues. I would still like to see people with a greater sense of personal responsibility and I do believe you make your own bed so you should be prepared to lie in it, but as far as personal choice issues, I tend to favor less government incursion into people's lives.

So back to my initial post. I want to work for Obama!! I think I would just like to do something that makes a difference. Even prior to the election I had this urge to become more involved in community service activities. I am now involved w/ a group called Taproot, which helps to marry volunteers w/ groups in need of specific types of professional help. I just feel the need to give back. Not be so self-absorbed. I must admit that my life is better than most so now I think I can take the foot off the pedal of personal/professional advancement for just a second and see if I really can be selfless. Well in all actuality it's not as though I am barrelling up the corporate ladder as is, but that is not the point. I am hoping that the mere effort of giving back will yield a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose.

And maybe even a job. :)

Anyway, I will keep you apprised of the results of my quest. Keep an eye out.

PEACE

Big Mike

How Sweet It IS!!!

Now let me start by saying I never thought a black man would be president of the US in my lifetime. I thought it would occur, but just sometime after I died for 2 reasons: 1. I don't have the healthiest lifestyle. And 2, The US is a very racist country. And even if you discount the racism, it is unlikely that those in power are likely to give it up without a fight (or a revolution). So how did this happen? I can tell you how. GW has f----d up the country so badly that they said give it to the black ma. He can't do any worse.

By the time the election got here it was a foregone conclusion who would win. Sure, many of us still remember the 2000 election and Gore's loss, but that seemed very unlikely this election. I mean in some ways Gore deserved to lose. I think he even lost his home state!! SO I was quite prepared for the reality that the US would have a brother in the White House. Does that make it the black house now?? I digress.

I expected the euphoria that would come from the announcement. What I was not prepared for were some other emotions. I actually shed a tear. Yes. You heard it here. Big Mike broke the heck down. While people around me whooped it up, I found myself thinking about all the people I have known and been close to who never got to see this day. I thought of my brother who passed away in 2004. He was not a very political person, but I imagined how he might have reacted. What's more I thought about how the reality of the possibility of a black president could have changed so many lives, probably including my brother's. I started to think how likely it was that people's outlooks would change because of this most unlikely occurrence.

You know I used to want to be the first black president. When I was a young boy my mom brought home from work 2 sticker books: 1 was of great cats and the other was of presidents. I think I was only 6 years old at the time, but to this day my two passions are big cats and politics/government. So I looked through the sticker book and saw all the faces of people who looked decidedly unlike me, and I set out to become that first black president. Early on I knew the odds were long, but I still thought it was possible. I figured I would go to law school, become a lawyer (most presidents were lawyers I assumed), do some community work, get into Congress, then the Senate, and then bam I would run for president. Long odds but definitely not unattainable. At 6 I wanted to be president.

At 12 I thought maybe President is a bit too lofty. I could become a lawyer and go to Congress and then maybe become a mayor. At the time Lionel Wilson was mayor of Oakland. That showed that a black man could lead something, but probably couldn't be President. I mean realistically there had to have been some better black men than me out there and if they couldn't become president why should I think I could become the first one.

At 16 i decided I would become an accountant. This was in about 1982 and the US was emerging from the Carter years and the severe recession and general malaise that gripped the nation. Stagflation (both inflation and unemployment) had sopped the life out of most urban environments and my goal in life was to just get a damn job once I finished high school or college. How my sights had been lowered.

I guess the point is now instead the theoretical understanding that in America supposedly anything is possible, my family and the families of other people of color can actually see a tangible representation of the hope. I think in a lot of ways this shows that the US is growing up. This is not to imply that I think we have reached some Nirvana. It is more a realization that America is not so stupid that it will continue to do the same old thing yet expect different results. It shows America is advanced enough to reach or look outside the box of what has been to embrace the possibility of what could be. That is growth indeed.

So now, let the good times roll. Happy Days are here again. That is of course not true. There are a lot of serious issues facing our country. Issues that BO may not be able to resolve in his first or even his second term. My only hope is that he gives it a try and that he truly does represent some outside of the box thinking. I must say that my heart burst forth with a lot of racial pride at his election. But once the counting was done BO truly did become president of all of us. he is not a black president anymore, he is just The President (well actually president-elect until Jan. 20). So now I have to expect of him what I would of any other president, make my life better without freaking killing me with taxes!!! You do that, I will sing your praises forever. You don't, then I will take my vote elsewhere.

(Just kidding BO. You know you can count on me for at least 2 votes, just like this year.)

PEACE OUT!!!

Long time no see!!!

So it has been over two years since I last posted. Not much has changed in my life during that time. That is pretty damn pathetic.

I am still working @ Gap. We're struggling, but good things seem to be right around the corner. Of course that has been the case for the past several quarters. But hope springs eternal.

I am still living in San Bruno. I am about to move into a new apartment, but I am still not purchasing a place. Even with the downturn in the market, the cost of buying in the Bay Area is still prohibitive. I keep toying w/ the idea of buying something in the Eastbay, but the commute issues seems to hold sway each time. Actually I am about to move into a new "luxury" apartment in San Bruno. I kinda wonder what constitutes luxury these days. It is about 1066SF but seems smaller. You know I am kinda trying to talk it down because I am really excited and I think I will be devastated when people visit and aren't impressed. I actually wanted to move there when I first moved back to Northern CA, but they rejected me. Now, 3 years later I am suddenly more acceptable. Have I gone up in some way or have their standards come down?? Maybe a bit of each.

BTW, I crashed my BMW. Actually that happened about a year ago. Ran into a pole. Finally got it repaired 2 weeks ago. I must admit that a damaged BMW doesn't have quite the panache as a freshly painted, undamaged one. I am glad I finally got it fixed. Thanks Tesia for the constant badgering.

I have left the country twice in the past year. I even have a passport now. I am expecting to do big things. I will definitely be going to Africa in 2010 for the World Cup. Now I have no great affinity for soccer, but I have had a desire to visit the motherland. Some of my friends who are in to soccer have decided they are going, so I think I will hitch a ride. I hate going places alone. but anyway, I went to Canada last year. Drove up to Victoria for my birthday. may not seem like much to all the world travelers out there, but it was a major step for me. This summer I took a cruise down to Mexico. I must say it was a good trip, save all the issues they had w/ my credit card and the cell phone bill. I didn't know the ship charged to access their cell tower, so I was charged some $2.50 a minute and ended up w/a $1,600 phone bill!!! That was not a typo!! I think I will be paying that off until I take my next trip. The highlight of the trip had to have been my first cuban cigar. I didn't expect the experience to be so nice. I am now a dedicated cigar smoker...well if smoking 2 cigars in 4 months can make one dedicated. I would like to go to Jamaica or somewhere down in the Caribbean. Alas, I have the issue of not having friends w/ the wherewithal to make the trip w/ me. Hell, let's face it. I just don't have many friends these days!! Oh for the heady days at OSU. Never a dull moment.

So I guess this whole post has been a waste. Nothing really of note. I just checked out my old friend Han's blog, and I gotta say the quality of our lives just seem to be on different scales. hey Han, you still mad at me? You must be as you never respond to my e-mails!! Did you at least use the discount cards I sent you? Hey you know I still love you even though we may never speak again!! kinda too bad, cuz I could tell you some fairly juicy stuff that is not suitable for blogging. (Now is that just an attempt to get you to talk to me or is there really something to talk about? Guess you gotta talk to me to find out).

Well I guess I will sign out now. I am thinking of starting a new job search. Maybe my next update will detail my progress on that front.

Anyway,

PEACE OUT

Time to face the facts!!!

What's up my people?? You know I am sitting here on a Saturday night cuz I have no chick. I mean I could be out doing something w/ some friends or whatever, but my nephew just left and I decided to just chill at the pad. It was good having him here, but I do kind of like my solitude. I can tell when it is all becoming a bit much...when I start coming home from work and go straight to my bedroom. But I think that is really kind of my own little personality glitch. I think I am becoming a bit of an ogre. Call me Michael Shrek Dean!! But let me just say this...my nephew is a benevolent pimp...and that is all I will say about that.

So now what is it you ask that I must face facts about? Is it the whole Han thing? Well I must say that I am seeing Paul and Han as much more of a couple now. Kinda like gentle changes in status and convo so now that is more real. But it should be noted that I took Han off my radar a while back. At 30 she is just way too old for me!!! :) You know I love you Han!!

Nah the thing I am facing facts about is that I am never leaving this freaking state. I mean I have tried and tried. I have applied for jobs in places as varied as Virginia and South Dakota. But the only place where I can get a job is CA. So I am facing the fact that I will be here for the rest of my damn life!!! One of the ramifications of this realization is the fact that I need to buy me a place. I have the misfortune of working in the SF Bay Area which means median home prices around $700K. SO that means I need to start looking at a condo or something. I mean all a condo is is a freaking apartment, but at least I can get some equity in it and get a big tax break, although I must tell you the whole tax break thing is a big old myth. I think the majority of people don't realize that the tax break is not really a break but just a redistribution of your income...but I digress. I heard some young manager who sits next to me at work the other day talking about her home and I decided what the hell. I need to go ahead and deal w/ the reality of living in CA, regardless of how distasteful that may be.

So I am about to start looking for a freaking condo. Or maybe I should start looking for a wife. I think if I got a wife I could get a bigger house. Well stay tuned folks. In the next 6 months I will be bringing you news of either a wife or a condo, but definitely not both.

HOLLA!!

PEACE

I have nothing to say!!!

Well let me start this post off by saying life sucks. I have nothing bad to say, but I needed to get it out none the less.

My company has reported lower sales for I think the 23rd time in the past 25 months. Now I don't know what you folks are doing out there, but it is obvious you are not buying jeans!! Get out there. BTW, I get my next set of discount cards sometime this week. If you want one let a brother know. I am going to actually try to send them out this time.

So I have made a couple payments on my ride and have come to the conclusion that payments suck!!!

Hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. I had a bbq -- in my living room. that was pretty unfulfilling. I think I am going to start looking for a new place to live. I will continue to rent as I cannot afford to purchase a home in CA. I want a duplex or something that has some kind of yard access. Not too big a yard as I am not trying to go broke paying someone to keep it for me, but just enough space for me to put out a table and chairs in addition to a bbq pit. I can see it all now. I will keep you apprised on the search. I think I will have to break my lease.

I have decided to take a Christmas cruise. Anyone wanna join me?? I need to get out of the good old US of A. Guess I should start working on my passport.

I went camping this weekend. I was chased by a skunk. He/she didn't catch me...or did he/she. I haven't had a lunch invite all week.

Anyway, I am off for now.

Holla if you hear me!!

PEACE

I'm in love!!

I gotta admit I never thought I would feel this way. I actually thought I was incapable of having these kinds of emotions. I have often posed the question to myself and others if maybe I was emotionally stunted, unable to give or receive love. I had come to the conclusion that I was destined to live life never having known love. But fortunately that is not the case cuz I, BIG MIKE, the one and only, often imitated but never duplicated have found love. And I mean a real lasting love. A love that I doubt will ever get old.

So I guess I will give a few details. We first met in Oregon when I went up for my nephew's graduation. It was kind of a trip cuz it was a situation where there was a bit of knowledge of each other, but never a real intro. So the first meeting was kind of awkward. You know how you kind of think there may be a spark, but you really don't know if it is there cuz you want it to be there or if it is for real. Anyway, we kinda decided to take it slow. Just kinda feel each other out and see if there was something to build on. We actually only met once up in OR, but it was kind of a situation where we both knew we would see each other again.

So I had to come back to Cali and in Cali things were kind of different. It seemed like when in OR there was a totally different feeling. In California things were kind of strained. Kind of abrupt. I mean I found out some things that were not too pleasing. But we still decided to keep it going.

Now after last night I know that I have indeed found love. I mean I was shown a side so different than anything I have experienced in the past. It was both unexpected and enjoyable. I think the foundations have been laid for a wonderful relationship. I now know for certain what I originally only thought...Big Mike is in love. It was love at first sight and I know it will last forever.

MD & CS 2gether 4ever!!

Stupidity personified

It is said that stupidity is doing the same thing you did in the past yet expecting a different outcome. I think I am insane. Regardless (or should I say irregardless for all the uniformed) of the fact that I know that consumption is my enemy (in many regards) I continue to do so.

Now let me say that conspicuous consumption has always been a major issue. I am literally compelled to buy certain status items, only to regret the purchase soon after. In this case it was when I got my payment coupons. Now I know I reasoned that I deserved a BMW or similar vehicle due to my promotion and so forth, but did I really? Or was that just another ruse I perpetrated on myself to justify the purchase. I know I ask it in the form of a question, but really it is a statement and we all know the answer to the hypothetical.

So now I am saddled w/ this ridiculous payment for the next 90 years or so it seems and I ask myself what have I really got to show for it. Yes I have a car that is fun to drive, nice to look at, and a definite symbol of accomplishment. But the more tangible result is a bill that will stare me in the eye for the next 4-5 years, tens of thousands of dollars which could have gone towards retirement or other savings in the next 5 or so years, and most worrisome is the impending periodic service that the vehicle is likely to need. I can envision a total loss of disposable income for the next couple years. And I did it to myself.

I am too old for this stuff. When will I ever learn???

BTW, stay tuned for my Sony Plasma purchase. I don't like my current one.

I guess I will never learn.

PS -- The vehicle is up and running.